Friday, February 4, 2011

hello, 2011.

my fellow readers,
i apologize for making this so delayed.
i would like to have good reasons,
but they would only be excuses.

alas, here i am.
it is a new year. 2011.
and too many things can already be said about it.

but i will try to mention the ones that matter.

firstly,
just the way the year began amazes me. it was good.
more than good, actually.

secondly, the opportunities for music making are becoming more and more exciting.
stay tuned for what is to come.

i believe this year is a year for new things.
it is a time for the old to pass, and for the new to arise.
a time for fresh dreams
to come to life.

but also, this year will be challenging.
at least for the heart.
as it already has shown to be.

my heart feels heavy and sad, tonight.
there is so much that i am feeling,
and i find myself not knowing what to do with it all.

i know i must face what is inside,
but i'm afraid.
i'm afraid that it will be too much.

there is so much longing,
desire,
disappointments, fears, and questions.

i constantly find myself afraid to lose
the ones i pour my heart into.

only because it has happened before.

and i know these expectations are false beliefs,
but i just can't help them sometimes.

i have allowed my heart to partner itself with another,
in the past,
and it left me broken.

i fight these thoughts,
telling me it will happen again.

and it is hard.

but the truth remains.
love always perseveres, love is always hopeful, love never fails.

i know that i am worthy of holding onto.

so, this year, i focus on being taught what Love is all over again,
by Love Himself.

love from scratch.

i want to know it right,
so i can know how to love you,
right.

much is ahead.

- melody.

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