Sunday, February 28, 2010

LET'S BE HONEST: answer set 1.

Question: if you could absolutely anything in the world, what would that thing be?

"i'm probably going to answer this in parts so here goes:
Start fresh. It says in the Bible that if we believe in Jesus, and if we ask for forgiveness, we will be forgiven and our sins will be forgotten. I'm far from perfect so my faith in Christ... that really gives me everything I need.
Haha, but that doesn't answer the question so much so...that thing would be doing something where I would be serving God full-time and getting married and possibly moving to Australia. I'd love to travel and be able to serve through music, showing God's Love to the people in the world, that's what I could do."

"I'm really not sure fly? maybe idk well hmm yeah i dont know"

"In which case it's to buy a veggie van and live on the road, trusting God for my everything (food, shelter, protection) playing some music along the way would be awesome. Finding ways to help out however small they may be. :) Why... we'll it may not be glamourous but i'm positive i'll get more out of it then any 9 to 5 will ever give me!"

"Wow that is a vague question but I'll try my best. I want to do something that actually matters you know what I mean? I mean sure some things get you all the wealth and security you need but that isn't true happiness...I want to be able to know that I'm making a positive change in someone's life, directly or indirectly :)"

"I think I'd want to go hiking with God across Iceland. We'd sit down and have a little chat about my life and my heart, we'd eat pomegranates, and explore Iceland until the sun goes down. I'm really hoping that happens one day."

"I would be a rockstar/artist living in a country home where it is perpetually summer and yet somehow is in the heart of Toronto or Van."

"I've got to put 2 answers; one for what I would do right now... one for the long-term plan. :)
Right now, I would love to travel as the intern I already am with CTF leaders abroad to really any other countries for conferences and events. It's the best part of my job and I don't get around much.
Long term: go to the moon... and through my dad, (God), redeem the film and television industries."

more to come!

Friday, February 26, 2010


i have decided to start a new project: LET'S BE HONEST
with this new "" networking website,
where you can ask questions anonymously and get answers.
i thought i might go around formspring and ask one question
to many, many people - known and unknown.

i'll be gathering the answers and be posting them here.
i will probably ask the same question for about a week (5 to 7 days),
and then, i'll change my question.

after having a set of questions and a set of answers,
i'm thinking of using them for a piece of art.
so, i hope you enjoy this new "series" to my blog.

QUESTION #1: if you could do absolutely anything in the world, what would that thing be?

ps. my formspring:
pps. trailor to next post: creativity.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Go the source!"

i watched this movie called '9' a few weeks ago.
it was absolutely chaotic and strange.

...but somehow, it has stuck to me. (you know a movie is not that bad when they stay stuck to you...)

i'm not even going to try to explain the plot of the story - just because i don't exactly know the point of the film - but i do remember this quote:

"The source! The source! Go the source!"

this is a doll telling another doll to go back to the source in order to destroy a machine.
the source of the machine is of course its creator.

...this keeps ringing through my head...
the source. the source. the source.

i can't help but think about love these days. and i've been thinking about valentine's day and relationships and women's worth and...
the source.

something cannot be completely comprehended unless the source is identified and known.
a flower cannot grow without a seed.
and without knowledge of the seed, we would not know how to begin the growth process of a flower.

and without knowledge of Love's source, we cannot understand how Love blooms - or simply what Love is.

makes sense, right?

well, it looks like the world is trying to plant a flower without a seed.
we're constantly looking for Love's source - only to find dead ends...

...can i tell you something?

the source is not a certain boy or girl, it is not nice words, it is not beauty, nor is it sex...
if it were, love would not be so important. it would not be something people live for.
it would not create such deep wounds if not handled properly. it would not be looked for as much...

a flower cannot grow with water or sun alone.

the source is much greater than these. the source is 100% pure. it is not of this world. it's quite supernatural, actually. for love...well, love is not so natural in my opinion...

if i said it's 'God', you might tune me out. but hear me out...
what if i said that the source is always patient. it's always perservent, kind, just, and hopeful.
the source is like honey. so sweet to your heart.
the source is 100% in love with Love; with you. the source is always in movement; in pursuit.

the source is free. the source is fighting for you. the source is life. the source is that path you've been looking for. the source delights in joy; delights in you.

...i don't know about you, but this sounds pleasing, delightful, and everything that i know my heart desires for.

i want to get personal with you. please?
i searched for a great deal in my teenage years for this source...thinking it could be found in those boys i found cute for a while; or maybe in the butterflies my stomach felt when being around a certain person; or perhaps i thought love could be found in the words 'you are beautiful'.
don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with all of this.
the wrong is only found where our minds fool us in thinking that love is in the ingredients and not in the source.
my dear friends, after searching long and hard for this love through relationships or men, i only found a broken heart - my broken heart.
...and you wonder why your heart aches, even after being told all the words you needed to hear.

i discovered a few years ago that my heart didn't need boys or affirmation from people; it couldn't take all the false hope or the empty words any longer.
what my heart truly needed was to be fed Love - himself. the source. the creator. the real and true and pure.

please, please, please open your eyes around you and begin to face truth.

if Love was so easily breakable, it cannot truly be Love.
you don't deserve this broken heart. you don't deserve this pain. you don't need this confusion.

Love is waiting. He is waiting. he is waiting...for you to realize He's loved you all along. for you to realize He's been there by your side from your first breath. He's been there, whispering to you His love for you,
"Oh how beautiful you are..."
He wants you to know he delights in you...he wants you to know he will never let you go. never.
he is forever yours, as you are forever His.

oh darling, the source...the source is the only way to Love.

...let your heart be romanced by its true Lover; and then you'll know what Love looks like...
it is then that you can recognize it in the people around you.
and you will then be able to notice the source within the man or woman of your dreams...

"Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover?" song of songs 8:5