Sunday, August 31, 2008

I guess i'm just human.

Thank you God for my being alive. thank you for the sunshine. thank you for your protection. thank you for the stars. thank you for your comfort. thank you for your peace. thank you for always providing. thank you for friends. thank you for family. thank you for your open arms. thank you for your visions. thank you for laughter. thank you for vacations. thank you for miracles. thank you, thank you, and thank you.

well, i guess i can now say, "Hello, Mississauga!" or rather, hello Canada! altogether.

i spent a week in Williamsburg, Virginia and in case you don't know where that is, it's in down there in the good ol' states.
the sun was good to us for a bit, then the next few days of the week were grey and rainy.
but thank God for vacations. they really pay off.
families are interesting. they can be annoying, a pain, and completely different than you at times, but all in all, they are there for a reason. it's like your family is there to shape you. to help you learn more about yourself. you know what you can't stand, you know what makes you smile, what makes you cry, you learn to grow patience, kindness, and love through them. they are helpful.
i can say, that for myself, i am learning to love my family more and more each day.
sometimes, the closest ones to you are the hardest to love. but through family, new discoveries about you are made daily. it's crazy stuff, but i discover that it is very true.
so, take time, and learn to appreciate family; allow them to teach you about love. i have faith in family.

back from virginia, somehow, though, i feel off track. like, getting away from life's routines is like placing your life on 'pause' and coming back is like pressing 'play' again.

and now everything is just crashing into my face again.
as jimmy eat world sings, "collision is such an ugly sound."

hm, well said.

perhaps we're afraid of the sound, rather than the collision itself.
i mean, a situation alone is just a situation. it isn't alive, it doesn't affect, hurt, move, change, rejoice. it's dead. until it happens. happens to us. and it is the sound it makes, the affects it brings or the emotions we feel that frightens us.

everything on my mind tonight frightens me.
after hours on the road, holding onto God's protection for my life and the lives of my family, i slowly started to feel the routine thoughts i had back home come back to me. i travel with my thoughts. they are what i take everywhere. i can't escape my mind (and often times i wish i could) nor can i escape myself.
but the concept of vacation, almost allows me to leave my thoughts behind and take a break.
and take a break, i did indeed.

here i am, once again. blank canvas. words. change. and a new day to come.
august 31, 2008.
last day of august; for some (or many), last day of summer.
it's a scary thought i guess. just this idea that each day is only 24 hours. they cannot be taken back, and they cannot be re-created.

but as tonight flows away, and as thoughts of the campaign, the future, first week of school, love, God, and so much more keep jumping at me, i know that somehow, i'll find peace.
somehow, each of these situations will one day come alive and it will be up to me to make them happen the way they should be. it will be up to me to give these situations up to God and let him take care of it all. and all i'll have to do is trust him.
i've already given them up. now, all i have to do is trust him.
trust. . .
i can do it. i know i can.
and so can you.

whether you are going back to school, confused about the future, lost in a relationship, waiting for a miracle, all i can say is trust him. find a place in your heart to trust him. and he will take your heart, all of it, and take care of you.
i know it.
because he's doing it with me.
and it's a beautiful journey.
it truly is.

so, another day tomorrow of fun and games, and then it's back to desks and binders.
but this year will be different. a good different.
change will happen. all around. fraser will be changed, i do know so.
and redemption will happen. i believe it.
so, why do i fear? why do i worry?

i guess i'm just human.

the stars are out, my sign that You are here.
it's getting late, i hope that you enjoy these blogs as much as i enjoy writing them.
and don't forget, your story matters, too.
your fears and dreams make you who you are.
i'd like to share them. so send them away!
you're not alone.


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